Originally, when I committed myself to the idea four months ago, it was a means to an escape, and little else, even if I wouldn’t admit that myself. I wanted out of that life, that mentality, that disgusting place.

I claimed in that post that I’d spent the day with some serious nausea. It was true. I didn’t mention that the nausea was completely self-induced. The night before, I’d drunk more than half a bottle of Jack Daniels and decided it would be a good idea to make out with a friend’s boyfriend.

It’s not something I’m proud of, obviously. I’ve never done anything like that, and I spent the next day completely sick to my stomach. I was throwing up from the moment I left my friend’s apartment to the minute I got in the car to go back to Olympia six or seven hours later. In part because of the copious amounts of whiskey I’d downed, but largely because I was seething with guilt. It was crawling over me, making me itch, infecting everything around me.

There was nothing I wanted more in those hours than a way out, an escape. With that guilt on top of everything else I’d weathered in the months before, I just wanted to get out.

So when “Laredo” came on after I’d been reading Travels in a Thin Country by Sara Wheeler, I devised my plan. I’d get a job teaching English in Chile. I’d get out for a year. Maybe more, if I liked it. I could leave everything behind.

Now, though, that I’ve come to terms with my actions, and now that time has started healing all those other wounds, I don’t need an escape as badly. Now, I see Chile as a way to live. A way to experience something different, something exciting, and something that will fill that part of me that’s screaming for adventure and excitement something that I can do for me — not for anyone else, just myself. Travelling to Chile is a way to live for myself, something I’ve never really done until recently.

And now? Now I’ve been accepted.

I have a job. This adventure is moving forward. This life is starting.

Of course, now that it’s real, I have little things to deal with, like, you know, money. And visas, and living arrangements, and all these other things that made it difficult to really imagine. I don’t have as much money saved as I’d wanted. I’m going to have to make a pretty strict budget.

And of course, it’ll be harder to leave than I imagined. New friendships and relationships have been formed in these months. Old ones have been strengthened. Others are being reconciled.

But I’m not worried. I’m making this happen. I’ve created an unbelievable support system, from my family who is completely behind me in this, to friends already making plans for my return, and even a boyfriend who is incredibly excited for me.

But that’s enough gushing. Here are some pictures.

216/365

My delicious panini from Top Foods yesterday. Luxuries like this are being cut as of today. Must save money. Despite how effing delectable this sandwich is.

217/365

I rarely drink Starbucks with such delicious coffee options in Olympia, but I’m always to celebrate the return of the Pumpkin Spice Latte. Also a luxury that will be cut. My coffee and bagel habit has to be reigned in.

217/365

I’m not always happy with myself and my body. But sometimes…sometimes, I feel great. Today is one of those days. I’m not perfect, but there are more pluses than minuses.